Renowned Ghanaian counselor, Counselor Frank Adofoli has advised bachelors and spinsters around the world against letting their emotions sending them to the altar.
The celebrated relationship coach made this known in a recent post he made on his personal social media handle on Facebook.
The post he made reads;
“DON’T LET YOUR EMOTIONS SEND YOU TO THE ALTAR
Written by Counselor Adofoli
Many people are getting married based on their emotions and not their mind. It is how they feel about the person and nothing much about the person or knowledge about marriage in general. Many of the Divorce recorded so far reveal that. People only start thinking through the whole marriage after they are already married and then they realize they should have not.
It doesn’t stop there, they also act on their emotions, how they feel in the marriage and not what to do to make the marriage work. As a result, they follow their emotions to end their marriage instead of using their mind to save it. Instead of working at their marriage.
Don’t let your emotions send you to the altar all in the name of love. When you do that, you will live to regret. Let your brain lead you into marriage, that is when you can be sure you are doing the right thing. Many at times, what people call love is not. Love is not how much you feel for someone, love is in the mind. How much you know about someone is more important than how much you feel about them.
How much you know about someone can change how you feel about them. What you don’t know about your spouse is what can end the marriage and not how much you feel for your spouse. If you feel so good about her today and later find out she is a cheat, your feelings for her will change.
We’ve all had experiences with children, how they act especially when they want something. They act as if their lives depend on it, as if they can’t live without it. As if that is the only thing which will make them happy and without that, they won’t be happy.
And when you deny them of what they want, not because you are not kind to them but because what they want is not good for them or is harmful to them, they become sad, frustrated, angry etc. They act as if you don’t like them.
Our emotions can perfectly be described like how children behave when they want something. No wonder lots of people behave childish or like children when they fall in love. They suddenly lose control of their brain. What makes sense to others doesn’t make sense to them.
Your emotions are like the child, not everything it wants is what you give to it. Some of the things it wants need to be denied. What it wants needs to be thought through.
Your mind on the other hand behaves like an adult, it keeps your emotions in check. It just doesn’t want anything, it must make sense, it must add value to your life, it must improve us. It must not put our lives in danger. It takes a couple of things into consideration before taking decisions or settling for something. Every child needs an adult to guide them, to lead them. Every child needs an adult to keep them in check. Every person needs their mind to keep their emotions in check.
Adults know what they are doing, children don’t know what they are doing. Whilst children take everything as play, adults know life is serious and some decisions need careful consideration because it can affect one’s life. For your own good, don’t go into marriage with the childish part of you, but rather the mature part of you which is your brain and not your emotion.
Before you say YES to that marriage proposal or relationship because you feel something deep for the person, kindly ask your mind, if this is what you need? How much do you know this person? How is the future with them? How prepared are you? Know the person for yourself and not just what you hear about them. Say YES to them based on what you know about them today and not what you knew about them in the past.
In conclusion, “Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life” – Proverbs 4:23 (TLB).”